My twin sister and I didn’t find out we had ADHD until 2020 (we were 32!). We were gifted/perfectionistic to an extent and had anxiety throughout our lives, so many of the difficulties we had with getting started on big projects was attributed to perfectionism, and the fact that we were gifted very much masked ADHD symptoms. Not one teacher ever expressed concerns because we always did well in school. Once we found out, it really explained a lot of the struggles we had had!
That is exactly my experience, except diagnosed even later. At this point I’m still wondering how separable my perfectionism really is from my ADHD - is it a reaction to my difficulties with working memory, compounded by socialization?
I don’t know- we’ve had the discussion that it feels like so many aspects of our personalities are literally having ADHD and anxiety and wanting to be in control of things, so it doesn’t feel like any of it is able to be separated out.
My son is high-support ADHD and, pre-diagnosis, was labelled a "problem" and "slow learner" in school. Post-diagnosis the labelling stopped, but he always struggled for lack of support and understanding. He just turned 18 and as a legal adult where we live (Switzerland) is expected to take on adult responsibilities, but is neither ready nor able. I am low-support ADHD (diagnosed at age 58!) and improvised my way through school (in the US) as a "highly gifted" person. Working life was a series of high-flying successes interspersed with crash-and-burnouts, always with the feeling I was never achieving my potential. Post-diagnosis, I've found peace with my strengths and weaknesses. I hope that my son finds his way soon.
My twin sister and I didn’t find out we had ADHD until 2020 (we were 32!). We were gifted/perfectionistic to an extent and had anxiety throughout our lives, so many of the difficulties we had with getting started on big projects was attributed to perfectionism, and the fact that we were gifted very much masked ADHD symptoms. Not one teacher ever expressed concerns because we always did well in school. Once we found out, it really explained a lot of the struggles we had had!
It adds another layer of struggle for adhd women!
That is exactly my experience, except diagnosed even later. At this point I’m still wondering how separable my perfectionism really is from my ADHD - is it a reaction to my difficulties with working memory, compounded by socialization?
I don’t know- we’ve had the discussion that it feels like so many aspects of our personalities are literally having ADHD and anxiety and wanting to be in control of things, so it doesn’t feel like any of it is able to be separated out.
I get that it might be a debatable topic
My son is high-support ADHD and, pre-diagnosis, was labelled a "problem" and "slow learner" in school. Post-diagnosis the labelling stopped, but he always struggled for lack of support and understanding. He just turned 18 and as a legal adult where we live (Switzerland) is expected to take on adult responsibilities, but is neither ready nor able. I am low-support ADHD (diagnosed at age 58!) and improvised my way through school (in the US) as a "highly gifted" person. Working life was a series of high-flying successes interspersed with crash-and-burnouts, always with the feeling I was never achieving my potential. Post-diagnosis, I've found peace with my strengths and weaknesses. I hope that my son finds his way soon.
Well said! Love this article